Play is for adults too

Play is for adults too

Next week I am off to camp, pottery camp. For an entire week, I’ll be elbow deep in clay. No, I am not a fanatic of the movie Ghost. I enjoy being crafty. I’m not very good, but it is fun nonetheless. For me, it’s a form of play.

In today’s go, go, go society very few adults take time to simply play. Some of you might be thinking, “Playing is for kids, I have too much to do. Soccer practice, cleaning, cooking, errands, work, the spouse, the dog, the garden…”  On and on goes the to do list.

Well, you shouldn’t be so fast to dismiss play as childish. At it turns out the proverb all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy is bang on.

According to the National Institute for Play, founded by Winnipeg born Dr. Stuart Brown, a practitioner of general and internal medicine psychiatry and clinical research, play “by its nature it is uniquely and intrinsically rewarding. It generates optimism, seeks out novelty, makes perseverance fun, leads to mastery, gives the immune system a bounce, fosters empathy and promotes a sense of belonging and community. Each of these play by-products are indices of personal health, and their shortage predicts impending health problems and personal fragility.”

Wow! Who knew my puttering around with mud was so therapeutic.

Blowing bubbles, mindless fun (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What is play?

Play is anything you do for no particular reason. If the purpose of the activity is more important than the activity then you are not playing. Play includes, among other things, humor, creating, storytelling, games, socializing, roughhousing, flirting and make-believe. Dr. Brown says, “Plenty of play in childhood makes for happy, smart adults — and keeping it up can make us smarter at any age.”

When at play you are in a state of flow. Flow is the mental state in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed with a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity. In essence, flow is characterized by complete absorption in what one is doing. This is sounds glorious. I can attest that when I am creating my crocked, cracked, wobbly clay bowls, I am definitely in a state of flow. Time evaporates, the world around me fades.

Learning about the importance of play from murderers

Dr. Brown’s  came about the notion that playing is good for your mental health in most round about way. He was studying homicidal young men and felony drunk drivers. His clinical research concluded the absence of play in throughout the lives of these men was an important contributing factor to their criminal acts.

The opposite of play is not work…it is depression

My best friend works 50 hours a week.  She has repeatedly told me she needs to find activities that make her happy. When I prod her about what type of activities she would find fun, she stares at me blankly.   It has been so long since she has just played, she can’t even remember what gives her verve.

She’s not the only person who has lost touch with the mindless pursuits that bring joy.  Dr. Brown suggests the prevalence today of depression, stress related disease, interpersonal violence, additions and other health and wellbeing problems in adults can be linked to lack of play.

If you want to goof around and play, but don’t remember how, think back to when you were a kid. What events, activities, toys and moments brought you the greatest joy? You now have a starting place to explore activities that will appeal to your gown up child.

In an article about the benefits of play in the New York Times, David Dobbs writes about the research being done by Elizabeth S. Spelke, Brian Sutton-Smith, Jaak Panksepp and Alison Gopnik. They suggest free, self-directed play in safe environments enhances resilience, creativity, flexibility, social understanding, emotional and cognitive control, and resistance to stress, depression and anxiety.

When I think of summer as a kid I remember doing hand stands and somersaults in the pool not swimming laps. I remember water balloon fights and jumping through the sprinkler not standing stoically watering the garden. I remember cotton candy and candy apples not eating green salads with dressing on the side.

This weekend, give up the notion that play is for kids. Stop taking yourself so seriously. Shake of the shackles and have some fun. Your brain will thank you and so will your inner child.

QUESTION:  WHAT ACTIVITY DO YOU DO JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT?

Watch a Ted Talk by Dr. Brown about the benefits of play.

Negative people are like second hand-smoke

An article in Psychology Today says “negativity is like second-hand smoke. It not only permeates the room but has dire health consequences for those unfortunate enough to be in its path.”

Negative people are ‘Debbie Downers’, as my friend Pam describes them.  With their pessimism, anxiety and distrust, negative people dampen the mood of everyone around them. No fun.

Negative people have the uncanny ability to find fault with everything. If they go to a fancy restaurant they completely overlook the good food, great service, fantastic company and nice ambiance. Instead the gripe about the cost.   When you talk about your dreams and ambitions rather than being supportive, the negative person rhymes off all the reasons why your venture will fail.  Negative people also tend to distrust others. They have a litany of complaints about their neighbours, friends, relatives, you name it.

According to neuroscientists, negativity is linked to increased stress and unhappiness. Basically negativity breads more negativity. It’s a hard cycle to break.

So, what do you do if you have a negative Nelly in your life?  Well, according to the experts there isn’t much that will pierce their armour of doom and gloom. Dr.  Raj Raghunathan has a few suggestions but don’t expect a quick fix. The doctor suggests:

1. Be compassionate. Don’t bother lecturing negative people about their bad attitudes as they are adverse to critical feedback.  It just fuels their belief the world is against them. So, the best you can do is try to be compassionate.  Think about it, going through life only see the bad in everything can’t be much fun. And remember,  you only have to deal with the negative person for a short period of time. She has to live with herself. 

2. Be perseverant. Don’t let their gloomy outlook stand in your way. Despite their gloomy forecast go after your dreams, take calculated risks, trust in others. If their constant barrage of complaints gets you down, then limit the amount of time you spend with them.

3.  Be positive. If you want the negative person to turn their frown upside down,  then be a role model of positivity.  Point out all  the good in life.  Maybe, eventually, hopefully they will stop believing that ‘life is like a bowl of cherries, it’s full of pits.”

Studies show, people who say “YES” to life are the happier for it. That doesn’t mean they won’t falter or fail, but it does mean they will get up, dust themselves off and try again because they retain their optimism. So, don’t let the gloomy people get you down. Believe in yourself and your dreams and go for it!

QUESTION:  HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH NEGATIVE PEOPLE?