A physician I use to work with compared a balanced life to a square. Each side of the square represented a critical component of a balanced life: family, work, spirituality and health. Your life was in balance when each side was equal in length thus forming a perfect square. If you spent too much time at work, that side of the square was longer and everything became misaligned. Your life went out of whack or out of balance. I really liked the doctors’s simple analogy.
My layoff has prompted me to look at balance in my life, particularly since the work side of my square was blown to smitherins. The timing is perfect to rebalance my live and get everything lined up again.
Stunned by what I discovered
I started to do some research about attaining a balanced life. I soon discovered it is all a bunch of bunk, baloney, malarkey, hocus pocus. Many of us have been tolling under the delusion we were doing something wrong by neglecting say the spiritual part of their lives, and gees we had better get to church or synagogue of mosque and get that part in balance with the rest. Other people have been beating themselves up for spending too much time at work and thinking they need to cut back in order to focus on the other elements of their lives. Well relax people, there is not such thing as a balanced life. You can’t line up all the elements and divide them up 25%, 25%, 25%, 25%. Life simply isn’t as neat and tidy as a square.
I was so relieved when I learned this because, I confess, I really didn’t want to go to church.
So, if we aren’t suppose to striving for a balanced life, what are we to aim for? This is the best part. You can aim for what ever you want. Love your job work? Get energized by your work? Then spend more time at your desk. It’s okay. Love learning new things. Then spend more time taking classes. Go get an MBA. It’s okay.
The beauty of humanity is we are all different, thus where you want to put your energy, where you find joy is unique to you. You don’t need to feel bad because you’d rather spend time jogging in the park rather than with your friends at the pub. Loving exercise is what makes you, you. And it’s okay.
I came across the Wellness Model called SPICES. Isn’t that a cool acronym. It stands for: Social, Physicial, Intelectual, Career, Emotional, Spiritual.
What a minute you’re saying, you just said all this balance stuff was a bunch of blather. Well, let me explain. In the Wellness Model, each circle can be whatever size you want. They don’t all have to be the same size. So, for you to be well, using the SPICES model you the circle representing spirituality might be tiny tiny, but the circle representing intellectual is very large and the circle representing social is medium sized…and so on. When you have the SPICES added together in the right amounts, then you have achieved WELLNESS.
This removes a lot of pressure, no more struggling to focus equally on all things. Focus on what brings you joy.
So, how do you know if you have the right dose of spices. Ah! That is, of course, the million dollar question.
Writing in Psychology today, Dorothy Firman, Ed. D. author of the Living a life of purpose says you are unwell if you feel:
- Disconnected
- Restless
- Agitated
- Tired
- Angry
- Sad
- Purposeless
- Disinterested
She goes on to write you are well if you are feeling:
- Aligned
- Energized
- Purposeful
- Engaged
- Content
- Rested
- Peaceful
Alternatively, Marcus Buckingham writing for Oprah.com suggests asking yourself the following questions to discover if you are well.
- How often do you get to do things you really like to do?
- How often do you find yourself actively looking forward to the day ahead?
- How often do you get so involved in what you’re doing you lose track of time?
- How often do you feel invigorated at the end of a long, busy day?
- How often do you feel an emotional high in your life?
If you answered ‘never’ to the questions above then your life is off kilter. It is time to ask yourself some hard questions to figure out what SPICES you need to add to your life. It might not be easy, you might have to make some tough choices, like stopping doing something that really drains you even if others expect you to do it. In her blog, the Jersey Alliance, Krista Kohlmann, a student affairs professional at Rutgers University introduced me to the Spices Wellness Model. She recommends we all take time to visualize our priorities and then adjust our life accordingly.
It is your life. If your life is bland, then you need to ‘spice it up’ by figuring out what will make you feel energized and engaged. Only you know what needs to be switched up. Only you can add the right amount of spices to your life.
QUESTION: WHAT ACTIVITY ENGAGES YOU AND GIVES YOU ENERGY?
I love doing crafts, I am not very good, but I love doing them. I simply lose track of time when I am trying to create something out of a lump of clay. I actually, enjoy writing this blog too. I hope you enjoy reading it.
You can also follow me on Twitter @lisaADutton
Reinvent Me! 2013 